I read the following post from the Kansas City Tango Community and thought it might be worthwhile to share. 

Week of August  17 - 23, 2008

I would like to bring up a topic that hasn't been discussed in our community in a long time. This is the tendency of some of the more experienced leaders to “teach” the beginner followers at milongas. Sometimes this happens on the social dance floor, sometimes at the back of the room. Leaders need a reminder about why this should not be done. A gentleman (and tangueros are supposed to be gentlemen) does not correct or teach his partner on the social dance floor - sorry guys, but this, in tango communities around the world, is considered rude. It is also a bad idea to take a beginner follower to the back of the room and “teach” her how to follow what you want to lead. I know that the leaders think they are being helpful but actually they are not and this is why:

1) A gentleman does not point out his partner’s lack of ability and “fix” it in front of everyone. This can be embarrassing for someone who is new to the dance. 

2) It can be intimidating for a beginner follower to have a man who is much more experienced at tango (and maybe old enough to be her father) correcting her.

3) Followers need to learn technique and vocabulary at their own pace. No one can learn to do any piece of vocabulary well in 5 or 10 minutes at the back of the room from someone who has not danced the follower's part and has never taught tango. This just results in sloppy following and the acquisition of bad habits and poor technique that have to be corrected later. A good leader (and a gentleman) will dance to his partner’s level. This means he will start with simple vocabulary when dancing with a beginner (or an unfamiliar partner) and gradually lead more difficult vocabulary until she has trouble following him. He will then lead the vocabulary that she can successfully follow. He does not force her to “follow” vocabulary that is beyond her level. Maybe she can only walk and do some back ochos. If so, lead that. A good leader can make just walking enjoyable.

4) A leader’s most important responsibility is to keep his partner safe, and his second most important responsibility is to try to make the dance enjoyable for her and let her feel successful at it. She needs to practice, on the social dance floor, what she has learned in class so that she can become more confident. Forcing her to do vocabulary she has never seen before will not make her feel successful or help her skills. So, for example, if a follower obviously doesn’t know how to do the cross or has trouble recognizing when she should cross, a good leader/gentleman will NOT force her to cross. Let me repeat that – DO NOT FORCE THE FOLLOWERS TO CROSS. The way leaders force followers to cross teaches them improper technique which has to be corrected later. If a follower doesn’t cross when she should, just keep dancing and adjust to the missed step. YOU are the experienced dancer and the leader, so YOU should make the adjustment. It is not your responsibility to teach her or fix her errors. Please be patient while she learns these things from someone who understands the follower’s technique.

FOLLOWERS: If a leader tries to teach you your part on the social dance floor, tell him you will wait to learn whatever it is in class and ask him to just continue dancing. A gentle reminder should be enough. If you have questions or want to learn more about what he wants to show you, ask a teacher or an experienced follower to help you.

In future newsletters I would like to talk about tango music and the role of the DJ. If you do not want to receive this newsletter, or if you get duplicate copies, please let me know.

Kathy McGeeney